Regardless of your opinions on Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, and/or Taylor Swift, something is going on in the world of Snapchat that involves all three and will DEFINITELY be of interest to you: on July 17th, 2016, Kim's Snapchat account completely and utterly obliterated Taylor Swift from the face of the Earth.
Listen, if I had to name three celebrities in the world that I never wanted to hear or see again in any context, these three might be the ones. But this is so friggin good it's hard to not get at least a little excited by the way they've mixed reality and social media into a grand-scale soap opera where we all get to be the audience.
To clarify what's going on: earlier this year, Kanye West released a song called "Famous" on his album The Life of Pablo, which included the following lyrics (referencing their sordid history together, namely Kanye's infamous "Imma let you finish" moment):
For all my Southside niggas that know me bestI feel like me and Taylor might still have sexWhy? I made that bitch famousGod damnI made that bitch famous.
Kanye claimed to have run the lyrics by Taylor before releasing the album, both as a courtesy and to get her approval. Swift's reps shot back immediately to deny the claim, saying:
Kanye did not call for approval, but to ask Taylor to release his single 'Famous' on her Twitter account. She declined and cautioned him about releasing a song with such a strong misogynistic message. Taylor was never made aware of the actual lyric, 'I made that bitch famous.'
If this were all that had happened, this would probably still be a pretty big deal - but Taylor took things to the next level by throwing some serious shade (and additional denials) Kanye's way in her acceptance speech at the 2016 Grammy's for her Album of the Year award, saying:
As the first woman to win Album of the Year at the Grammys twice, I wanna say to all the young women out there: There are going to be people along the way who will try to undercut your success, or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame, but if you just focus on the work and you don't let those people sidetrack you, someday when you get where you're going, you'll look around and you'll know that it was you and the people who love you that put you there, and that will be the greatest feeling in the world.
And, at the time - that was that. It was a case of "he said, she said", with Taylor Swift as the victim to Kanye West's lewd and aggressive misogyny. Poor Taylor, right? And Kanye - what a huge jerk! Lying about calling her AND belittling her accomplishments in a song! How rude of him!
Cut to July 17th, 2016, when Kim Kardashian blew Taylor Swift the fuck up by snapping out a recording of Kanye discussing the lyrics with Taylor EXACTLY LIKE HE SAID HE DID:
Here's the full transcript in case you don't want to watch a sloppily-edited together series of Snapchats:
Snapchat 1Kanye: "Oh okay do, you still got- you still got the Nashville number?"Taylor: "I do still have the Nashville area code but, I had to change it."Snapchat 2Kanye: "For all my south side n*ggas that know me best... I feel like me and Taylor, might still have sex."Snapchat 3Taylor: "I'm like, this close to over exposure."Kanye: "Oh, well this one is uh, this is a really cool thing to have uhh."Taylor: "I know! It's like a compliment kind of."Snapchat 4Kanye: ".. give a f*ck about is just you as a person and as a friend, I want things that you feel good, I don't wanna do rap that makes you feel badSnapchat 5Taylor: "Umm yeah I mean, go with whatever line you think is better. It's obviously very tongue in cheek either way."Snapchat 6Taylor: "I really appreciate you telling me about it! That's really nice."Kanye: "Uh, yeah I just feel like I had a responsibility to you as a friend, I mean."Snapchat 7Kanye: "I mean, thanks for being like so cool about it."Taylor: "Aww thanks, I really appreciate it, like the heads up is, that is so nice."Snapchat 8Taylor: "Even asking or seeing if I'm being okay with it, I really appreciate, like I'd never had expected you to tell me about a line your song."Snapchat 9Taylor: "The flowers that you sent me! I like, Instagrammed a picture of them and its the most Instagram likes I've ever gotten like 2.7."Snapchat 10Kanye: "Relationships more important than punchlines, you know."Snapchat 11Taylor: "Yeah, I mean, I don't think anybody would listen to that and think, 'Oh that's a real bit, he must be crying'"Snapchat 12Taylor: "You gotta tell the story like the way it happened to you and the way you experienced it, like you honestly didn't know who I was before that."Snapchat 13Taylor: "It doesn't matter if I sold seven million off that album before you did that, which is what happened. You didn't know who I was before that, that's fine."Snapchat 14Taylor: "And then you get cant hear that to make these things happen, and I have the idea to do it, and I create these things and concepts, it's like, I'm always gonna respect you."Snapchat 15Taylor: "And I'm really glad that, you had the respect to call me and tell me about the song and..."Snapchat 16Taylor: "It's just like, it's just a really cool thing to do, and a really good show of friendship so thank you."Kanye: "Thanks, you too."Snapchat 17Taylor: "If people ask me about it, it would be great to tell, well he called me and told me before it came out, jokes on you guys, we're fine."Snapchat 18Taylor: "You guys wanna call this a feud, you wanna call this throwing shade, but I'm gonna be on the Grammy red carpet and they're gonna ask me about it and I'm gonna be like, he called me."
So - not only did Kanye run this all by Taylor Swift, but he even went so far as to make it clear he valued their friendship and wanted to avoid hurting anyone's feelings - and Swift thanked him and told him how much she appreciated it. And Kim Kardashian has been sitting on this recording for MONTHS, just waiting for the right day to release it. And the day she chose?
And now, naturally, the internet is melting down with delight - Kim Kardashian has finally done something that pretty much everyone can agree is amazing:
UPDATE (AGAIN): Some fellow stars have VERY SUBTLY rushed to Taylor Swift's defense, trying to play this whole dramatic thing off as silly nonsense...
Though the tweets have been a lot of things, they all have one thing in common: Nobody really knows what they mean.
We here at the CollegeHumor office decided to change that, and after pouring through the enigmatic messages we noticed something about (a portion of) them that nobody else is talking about. Take a look at this:
And finally, the Philadelphia Police Department told Kanye about a job opening and EVEN gave him a lovingly photoshopped version of his potential future...
